After class, I've been thinking and reflecting on the day's discussion. It's actually the first time I heard the word “metanarrative” which I learned means a story of a story. Here are some of my insights about the discussion and some thoughts that I want to share. I’m kind of having a little problem in organizing my thoughts so pardon me if there are confusing parts in my blog. Some definitions are just based from my personal understanding of those things, so correct me if I’m wrong.
The discussion last Thursday (July 8) went around this sentence: Postmodernism is just the same or is equivalent to scepticism toward a metanarrative. This line contradicts its essence as it appears to be also a metanarrative, which was discussed in the class after I thought of it. It, therefore, goes into a cycle. The sentence is a metanarrative itself, so should we be sceptic of it as well? If so, then we would sceptic of it all over again, and again, and again. We have our own wisdom, so we have the power to choose what things to believe and what not to.
It was also mentioned that life is a narrative. It is a story. My life is a story; thus, it can be edited if I tell it to others. It can be modified so as to look or sound worthwhile, appreciable. When you read a story, you give meaning to it. You interpret it with your own wisdom and knowledge. This been said, it is implied that there are different stories for an individual. How many? As much as the people who know you, people you had an interaction with, people who saw you, or more. Not less, just more. Different people see someone uniquely, this is because of the role/s one plays in a society. To the family you may be a favourite child, to your friends you may be the best, to your classmates you may be the shy type who stays in the corner so as to get less attention, to your facebook contacts you may be someone who seems to be always happy. So if everyone has a story of your life, then it becomes a story of a story which is a metanarrative. So how can one have an absolute or essential him/her? Who would you believe if you were sceptic about it? It’s confusing. I can say this since I am confused myself.
About facebook, I just thought about what I do when I post pictures or get my status updated. It sometimes takes me a while to post an update for my status because of the frequent changes I make before I post it. What I have in mind is that I must post something that may be liked by a lot, something that one may notice and take time to read even if it’s not the original thought that I wanted to post, something acceptable. I am cautious of what I put in my facebook since my contacts come from different groups, different backgrounds. Some I don’t know very much as we only became contacts because of a common friend. It would be probably alright to post anything if only my closest friends were to see them, and that’s the problem. I don’t know what other people would think about me if I post something I am comfortable of sharing only to my closest friends. If I post an album, I only include pictures that look good. By doing these, I’m creating an image different from the real me. The “real me” refers to how I know myself. By doing these, I try to protect myself from destructive criticisms.
So.
How then can I be able to accomplish an autobiography that may be free from scepticism? There’s probably no way. How can I write a story of my life without the fear of misinterpretations? I can’t. I won’t be able to write my story with every single detail of what happened to me from the day I became a fertilized egg up to this very moment. Currently, I can’t vividly remember all the things that I was planning to include in my journal entry. There are countless events that happened within the twenty-two years of my life, but only a little I can remember. There may be things that are forgotten, but those memories are not gone. They are just hidden somewhere in my brain. Now I should be starting my autobiography. I’m running out of words. I have to get my brain cells working so as to create a story, which more or less can define me as a person, as a social being.
Word count: 785
This entry was written on the night of the 9th of July 2010.
